And that’s two hours of my life I will never get back.

The tickets were free. So I thought what the hell. So that’s basically what it all added up to. The Tagalog movie snub in me thought the automatic ‘ew’ at mere thought of the Bea Alonzo-Sam Milby starrer. But I liked those two Sarah-John Lloyd movies (I forgot the titles, haha), thus the decision ‘what the hell’. Maybe Tagalog love stories are finally getting more substance than mush.

But no. Gah—no. Between all the face-eating and the sleazy looks and the manufactured kilig moments and the choppy story-telling and convoluted dialogue and the twisted spoken Tagalog (cannot be helped from the Amboy, irritatingly intentional for the starlet) and the mush, gaaaah the never ending mush, my sister and I were the first to bolt the minute the lights turned on. We were hiding our faces. What was extra funny though was I was sitting between Jean and Celina, and it was like straddling a state line, i.e. when Sam was singing ‘And I love You So’ to googly-eyed Bea, Celina and I were looking for somewhere we can politely vomit, while Jean was gushing and giggling. I keep telling Jean she’s reading too many Tagalog romance novels. She refuses to listen.

Thank Candy Pangilinan for the intentionally funny moments. Those few minutes saved my bleeding brain.

I’m going back to Hogwarts. The story of an 11-year wizard destined to defeat Evil incarnate is a lot more realistic, surely.